Me and my thoughts

I put up my brave face just like every other day. The bag was lighter compared to the insecurities in my heart. I was a lost soul right from a very early age. I was surrounded by an air of uncertainty and scepticism. Maybe I carried it along with me from a previous life. I found joy in small things, and then the sorrow crept into me. I was in a constant battle of finding the sadness at bay. I bubbled with life and energy on the outside while the inside boiled with darkness and depth. I was not a pessimistic person, just a lonely one. I was a puzzle I could not decipher. I kept my surrounding happy in the hope that it will engulf me. But it seemed to evade me somehow. I was scared to discuss it in fear of being termed as a sad soul. As the years progressed, I learned to keep it at bay. The war is not an easy one, and my experiences did not show me mercy. Still, I braved it out and emerged as a stronger person. I accepted myself and embraced the child in me and groomed her into a better...

Some words can have a significant impact on our lives. The irony is the person utterly the word might not mean it. However, criticism has been an inevitable part of every individual's life. Some people have learned the art of handling it; some have become silent victims of it. If the criticism is for the better good, I should have conquered the world by now. I am not an enemy of criticism, both positive and negative. In fact, it has helped me groom my life and also taught me ignorance. There is a small line between feedback and criticism. A feedback aids in the positive growth of the person. A critique ripples the emotional well being of a person. I have always wondered why people criticise others for things they have no control. Why do people criticise others? Is it because they care for the people? Probably not or maybe as much as they portray it to be. It is because they want to express an opinion, irrespective of its impact. Humans are an equal combination of good and evil. Ci...

I am a firm believer of rainbows and unicorns.  Maybe it was the influence of too many second-hand books and romantic comedy movies. I almost believed in it till reality intervened. It was much later in life that I realised that love and other emotions were just a fantasy. I was not a pessimist person. I just hope things were different. However, the books and movies portray only the best parts of it. The big severe, ugly root is hidden deep within it. Even the pain shown is romanticized and makes us also enjoy it. In real life, the pain and disappointments hurt like crazy. Most humans are not cruel. They are engrossed in their world, a little self-centered and insensitive. The emotion in real life is a mixture of roses and thorns. Sometimes the roses are very few. Maybe that is the reality of life. It is not always sweet. It has its share of ups and downs. During dark days, it makes me wonder if it is a fantasy or reality. Sometimes, I wish could embrace the inevitable. However, l...

The perception of the three knots is different for everyone, and it changes over the course of time. As a young girl, it included utensils and dolls. As she reached adolescence, butterflies embraced her in its warmth and joy. When she arrived at her mid-20s, the expected list of characteristics grew more extended and more extensive. By 30s, reality sets in and the perspective completely changes. Ironically, the cornerstone of the three knots is love and trust. However, circumstances mould and groom her to expecting an array of traits. Whether she receives or accepts her fate is a story for another time. Every person I come across in my life has a dream and perception. The idea and vision have not lost its core value. They have just refined over time. Experiences and Years have rendered various colours and tones to it. Sometimes, we also do lose track of our passion and follows the crowd. I am quite surprised by the multitude of dreams and expectations. They do come in various hues and...

I am not a technology addict. Gadgets are more a utility instead of a style icon. It did not check the specification of my first laptop. A cousin referred me to a reliable vendor who asked my requirements and brought me a device. It was not love at first sight. I explored the laptop with my limited technical knowledge and learned the basics. Of course, Google was a significant support which helped and guided me through this phase. I had just finished college, and my career choices were as confusing as this one. We started a journey of uncertainty and fear. Our mission was a mixture of happiness, sorrow, achievements, failure, accolades, etc. We did not have a regular life, but it was a memorable one. The only familiar thing I had when I relocated to a new city was my Compaq. 'Thing" seems a little too harsh for our relationship.  We started for strangers and went to on to become best buddies for life. Compaq made my life plausible even during the most unstable phase of life...

Every relationship requires the right amount of space and clutter. The balance between both determines the success of any relationship. How much is too much? I have always wondered. I have seen perfect relationships crumble for no reason and unhealthy creepy relationships survive. What is the formula to make relationships work? Every individual is unique and bring different characteristics to the table. However, as humans we share certain similarities and maybe a standardised formula could make this work. First, just like any equation, Let us consider the variables involved. Let’s us take Men – X Women – Y Relationship – R X and Y are two different sub species with unique genetic traits, cultural values, expectations, perceptions, etc. It would be technically impossible for X and Y to balance each other without supporting elements. The elements would include beauty (B), Character(C), love (L), money(M), family(F) and loads of other reasons ranging from A to Z. All reas...

I kept sneezing continuously.  Over the counter prescriptions and Google researched self-medications did not seem to help.  The sneeze somehow appeared at the wrong time, in the middle of the meeting, the lunch table and sometimes even during sleep.  I loaded myself with antibiotic pills and tried combating the curse.  I gave up at last and decided to  visit  the hospital. Time seemed to be elusive when we crave for self-indulgence break.  However, battling all odds I  visited  a clinic recommended by a colleague.   Courtesy - The climate chief After examinations and a few questions, this could be due to an allergy, the doctor declared.   I  am a healthy and  I  don’t get affected by allergies,  I  proudly defended.  How do you go to work? He asked. I  go by motorcycle and  I  wear my protection  gear ,  I  replied.  Protective  gear  is i...