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Showing posts from February, 2017

The year I left behind

I stood frozen as days flew up Nothing changed Neither good nor bad A sense of Deja vu filled me What am I missing? A sense of loneliness captured me I tried breaking free It was too strong for me It just fought the best I can And it was never enough Everything was standstill The play button just would not work I hoped for a miracle But it never materialised Somewhere along the line I lost it I lost the will to live I lost the urge to breathe Everything became a tedious task I wished sleep would be a gift And it forsake me too Before I knew it The year was over A year which slipped through my fingers Which nothing worthwhile The year I left behind And which I would never wish for

We will never know

Every news channel spoke in detail and debated over the molestation of a leading actress. The media and thought leaders stormed about the injustice rendered. I was a little taken aback. I understood the horror and felt bad. What I did not understand was where were this anger and care when a common girl was molested and raped. She is nameless and never known. She suffers the horror and fights the demons alone. She gets lost in the list of procedures and questions. She fights to the best of her strength and gives up faith in herself and the society. Why was she just a news snippet in the middle of the day or in the unread corner of a newspaper? Why did the media nor the public stand up along with her? Why did her tears and pain go unnoticed? The media fights for the injustice rendered to the mighty and high. They ignore when the same injustice to the lesser known mortals. But the best part of the story is yet to unveil. What happens to the perpetrator is never known in both cases. Was h

Space

The complication and confusion of any relationship begin with this word. The word technically means the gap. It means absolutely nothing.But it can make or break a relationship. Every relationship needs the right amount of space. The quantity differs and determines the success of every relationship. I was never smart to understand the nuances of it. How I show that I care and still not bother them every hour or so? How do I tell a person that they are suffocating me without hurting their emotions? I never knew. Sometimes it is so complicated that I just let it go. Even parents have a difficult time understanding it and pamper or ignore the children. God is not an exception to this game. He sometimes blesses you in abundance or just lets you fend on your own. I just wish I had a guide to this universal drama. Still, It is just luck and common sense. Even instincts fail. Even as I work hard to make it happen. The ultimate question always remains, Is it really worth it?

How do I show it when I have not felt it

I have always tried to decipher it I have always wanted to embrace it It just sounds too meaningful And feel so meaningless I wish I had a knack for handling it It keeps drowning me when I don't need it And It leaves high and dry when I need it It is never balanced The war happens every day And still it wins with little effort It speaks different language for different people And mine is the most complicated in the world I wish I could communicate my care And I always end up doing the wrong thing Strategies do not work Nor does my brain Sometimes I wish it would accept me for who I am But it comes with T & C I have learned to live without it The problem is How do I show it when I have not felt it

Will you be my valentine?

Will you be my valentine? A voice pursued me everywhere I could not imagine a face to that voice It had a familiar shrill yet daunting How could I be your valentine? I asked Does it not mean Selfless love? It does But I am selfish and mean How do I fight into the profile? The voice would not leave me alone Being a valentine comes with a huge baggage It is not just gifting a bunch of meaningless hearts It is showing care with your heart and soul Was I equipped to do so? I can't, I said Why bite more than you can swallow? The voice calmly stated I love you even if you are cranky and shallow I will stay with you until the end of the world It promised It is impossible, I said Nothing lasts Yes, it said But I will stay with you, no matter what The voice promised Persistence and Loneliness won over And I hugged myself

Hope

Every morning I rise with hopes I hope for a change The change that will make me feel The feel that will be filled with emotion Emotions will make life worth living A life filled with purpose and joy A purpose which is unique and strong

Monsters on prowl

I have always felt proud and gifted to be a girl But I am no longer sure I am scared and angry I just wish things were different And I wish for monster slayers It was never a safe haven for women She always fought to establish a place for herself But it was a healthy one And the victory was sweet A few harassment here and there But a few thorns is a part of life But now Life have changed Monsters have grown in vengeance and number My sister is raped every day The names and places differ But the pain is the same Nobody cares It is just another news It becomes worse day by day Today the predators are attacking my daughter And all we can do is watch She was born yesterday She was withered today By heartless monsters And published by soulless people But her pain is not avenged She never knew why she suffered Nor did her tormentor reap the pain He just spends his life in prison Or continues his hunt We just sigh, wipe a tear and move on O my little girl Ple

Another realm, Another Life

Relationships are one of the most complicated mechanisms in the world.I am not smart to comprehend it. But I have been deeply hurt by them. Sometimes it leaves a scar and a multitude of questions. My life flows through friends and strangers. The irony is some friends are strangers to emotions and strangers are more sensitive. We try hard to make a relationship work. We spend our time, energy and most importantly emotions. Every time I invest so much of myself, I expect nothing much in return. I expect care and a sense of security. But it does not happen always. Every relationship comes with its own baggage and leaves behind some. Not all relationships have closure. They open unexplained mysterious realm and lets us battle with our inner monsters. I sometimes wish I could be more immune to the whims and fantasies of my heart. I wish I could control my butterfly and let it stay calm in its cocoon. Still, I lose myself to a warm smile and a caring thought. Everything comes with an expira