Me and my thoughts

I was asleep, deep asleep My heart was frozen And it forgot to feel I just walked on the earth Still I was dead In many ways I forgot to smile I forgot to cry I forgot to be me I laughed without happiness And cried because I could not feel I hated my eyes Because it reminded me of my death I was on the verge of it With all hopes lost And as dark clouds threaten to engulf me You came as a rainbow To bring me back to life To make my life colourful To fill it with hope and joy You made me smile Smile for real Not just the photograph type But the real one when my eyes smile Along with my lips You made me blush You made me cry You gifted me the courage to feel You warmed my frozen heart Your touch made me feel safe Your eyes made me feel alive Even the silence was beautiful You woke me from my sleep With a promise of a life A life filled with roses and thorns Still with your touch to handle it

I woke up with a start And realised I lost her She was my strength She was my hope She made me breathe She prepared me for the worst And she suddenly disappeared In her place Is a girl who is weak A girl who is insecure A girl who hopes for change A girl who craves attention A girl who believes in love Maybe even a life after I am worried that she will be hurt Yet you hold her You are her strength now I dont know if it is true But you woke her up And she might never recover If she loses you because I lost myself and found you

When you see something for the first time It seems new It seems unique It seems tempting The next time you see it You long for it You dream a life with it You wish it was yours The minute it is yours You cherish it You treasure it You value every minute with it After you get it Life becomes sweet Every second becomes a blessing And then slowly The faults become more pronounced The magic slowly disappears The enegry becomes diverfised Maybe because the love is not enough Maybe there are other priorities Maybe it is the sense of belonging Maybe because familarity breeds contempt Whatever the reason is Cant the magic just stay Or How do We make it stay

I rolled over in my sleep.I bumped into a warm body next to me. Warm? I woke up in a start. He pulled me closer. Sleep Jessi, He said. How did you come here? I asked him. He gave a weird look and it looked cute. God , Is this love. I pondered. Is it a dream? Even if it is a dream, I did not want to wake up in the fear of losing the warmth. I just wanted to hold on to it as long as i can. He murmured something in my ears. It was not audible. But it spoke volumes of love. I rested my head on his chest and his heart beat sang lullabies until I fell asleep. Morning came soon. Relativity theorem. I woke up with a smile. I blushed thinking about my dream. Suddenly an arm  draped me. I freaked. I need coffee he demanded. What are you doing here? I panicked. He just smiled and gave a lazy look. Questions bubbled along with the boiling milk. Karthik, Brush I shouted. Ouch I yelped as I accidentally touched the hot vessel. He was near me in an instant scolding me and caressing me at the sam

It is a first It is different It is unique It feels warm It feels cold It feels good It feels safe It feels natural It makes me smile It makes me cry It makes me think It makes me shout It makes me scared It makes me insecure It makes me strong It make me weak It is a treat in itself It is a curse I am not sure where it will lead me I am not sure if dreams come true I am not sure if miracles happen But this is how i feel And i will fill the space With smile

Every time a wind crosses me It leaves a impact Sometimes it caress me Sometimes it creates a storm Sometimes it just passes by When it stays It makes me sweat So it can be sweet It makes me laugh So it can smile It makes me cry So it can be strong It creates a memory Sometimes its lost Sometimes it becomes a nightmare Sometimes it just stays Ultimately it just leaves Either because it is bored Or because it has other priorities Or because nature has it planned that way Or maybe because it was not meant to be Hey wind, please take me heart when you leave me It is broken and scattered But please dont take my sleep Take my life instead

Why does it happen to me always? Why cant I be crazy sometimes Why cant I be angry at times Why cant I be stupid at times Why do I always have to be sensible Why do I always  have to be calm Why do I always have to be strong? Why do I always have to act? Why cant I be me? Atleast for sometime Atleast to some people

Most words have two meaning Some words have different meaning based on the place its used But this word is unique This conveys the same yet different messages It means the same Still it does not It differs from person to person It depends on a various factors I have always wondered the meaning of the word Atleast when i hear Or say it Does it mean I care for you  Does it mean I like you Does it mean I will hold you when things go wrong Does it mean I will stick to you no matter what Does it mean that you are my world Does it mean my life revolves around you Does it mean I miss you Is the word the combination of the above meanings Is it true Or a word used for building an illusion If it false Why does only one person get hurt always And the person is the receiver Whatever the word means It builds hope Forms trust And breaks barriers Yet sometimes the heart along with it Whatever it means Only time can answer

Diet , The word itself scares me. Being a avid food lover, Diet has never managed to capture me. Not that I dont try diet and all that. I just have never managed to crack the code to keep it successful. I have never tried any strict diet regimes and all. Just that I try to refrain myself from a few items. These may not qualify as unhealthy as such. Just that it  has more calories and cholesterol than is counterparts. How wont think of calories when we see hot spicy samosas with chutney of different colours. Atleast I would not .  I love street foods. I have a very sensitive stomach. Still I does not stop me from trying out the new place in town. I am not a glutton of food but like to taste and relish every bite i take. Yes my favorite movie is Ratatouile. I am now on a healthy diet regime. Thanks to my mom ’s and aunt’s intervention. I have not stopped trying out new items. I have just added fruits and nuts to my diet. Sometimes In the busy schedule, we never realise the import

My love for cricket is genetically linked. I come from a family of cricket lovers or maybe cricket fanatics is a better word. Cricket is more than a game to us. It is a family bonding event. It is the time when the whole family comes together to shout, fight and cry over a cause. The enegry and joy during the game is boundless. I remember looking forward to the game only to spend some time with the family. Every India Vs Pakistan and India Vs Sri Lanka match was a war by itself. The sofa arrangements, The ever available munchies are ever green memories of my childhood.  I have even bunked school to watch matches or to sleep after a match or because I have missed homework. Work brought a whole lot of responsibilies to the picture.Most of the time, It steals our  ‘Me time’. Juggling between monthly targets and keeping up with family responsibilities literally stopped me from thinking about myself. Sometimes when I stop and think I about me, I feel guilty. Still there are some val

Its Saturday. I was thinking of a place to go for lunch. A delicious looking ad popped up on the side of my browser. I just clicked it as it had tempting Gulab Jamun in it. The website gave me a buy one get one deal for a additional cost of Rs.25. I paid the money, got the deal and even called the place to check if the deal was true. My stomach started rumbling even before an hour. Chaat Bazaar, I see this place almost every day. I wanted to check it out. I did not have the time nor energy. The place has pics of delicious looking chats right from the hoarding to the doors. The inner wall surprisingly has photographs taken from different walks of life. This shows class. Most restaurants display mouth watering food pics to tempt us. But these photographs showed life and gave a different essence to the place. We selected a seat overlooking the road. A glass of cold buttermilk with chaas was the first to arrive. I am not a buttermilk fan. Still I found it refreshing to the scorchi

I have wings to fly The strength to carry me Yet something bounds me here The path is clear It is hard and rough It does not lead me anywhere Expect to death and darkness Still I hold on to the place I have work to complete My moral side holds me to stay And finish my duties Maybe it might not mean anything to anyone But it can give me peace The sense of fulfillment is the fruit I might not acheive it Still I will try Till the bond breaks And allows me to fly

What am I doing to me What am I doing to others Maybe this is not the live I want And I am not brave enough To embrace her I dont feel guilty Atleast not now Maybe my memory is a blessing It nevers last Expect a few It just wipes it away I dont hurt anyone Just get wounded on the way I just drift away Hoping to find a hold May a true smile Can do the trick But it is nowhere to be found Maybe Its not good Its not bad either Maybe I will get lost But Its better than the silence

The minute I saw this word Something struck me hard Maybe it was reality staring at me Or a bitter pinch of truth This is what it is called The word I was looking for This is happens to me Five times a year Sometimes less, sometimes more The protocol is almost the same The doubts The insecurities The smiles The sleepless nights The tears The empty space And it goes off in a puff I knows it is false Just that I dont care anymore May be the fake warmth Helps me move on And protect me from the cold demon beneath It engulfs me in a bubble of joy And makes me to move on Sometimes breathing becomes too difficult That this aids my living The clouds come and go Sometimes with rain and thunders It also has showers and breeze Still it goes Maybe It is not true But it makes me feel good and safe The illusion