Me and my thoughts

I looked at my phone for the hundredth time Today was not the first day It was quite repetitive for the past few weeks Most days were a blur Amidst a host of activities Still, some days were more strong They reminded me of the indifference and pain Insecurity corroded me from inside Every morning, I sent a message or two I never knew what I hoped for Still, I held on to the little shimmer My emotion and intellect fought to retrieve me Still, emotions won the game I badly wanted to give up To move on My heart broke every time a call went unnoticed And when a message was ignored She valiantly stepped in And fought the battle Today, I am ready to let go But I have my dignity intact

The clock stuck 12.00 The road was almost deserted Rain and wind drenched the earth The luggage I held pulled me down I looked longingly at my dead phone Civilisation seemed a decade away A few creepy eyes followed by every move The wind howled louder than my scream Something pushed me to take a step forward She nudged me to walk She soothed my cold heart And urged me to make a change And courage smiled As I walked with her

As a teenager, I was pretty new to this emotion I never knew when she captured me Maybe when a handsome guy stared right into my eyes Or at least I hoped he was Maybe when I dreamed about my then favourite movie star I never would really know But she was a mystery in those days She made me believe that I was happy She allowed butterflies graze through me She created warm me She made me smile for absolutely nothing She gave me beautiful dreams Even today, when I think of a unique memory She captures me again And makes me blush

Everyone one of us has enjoyed, relished and suffered because of her. She has a unique quality of making and breaking bonds. Sometimes she pushes us in the right direction and helps us move forward in life. She provides a sense of purpose and helps keep pain at bay. She can be a  double-edged sword. She can corrode away sanity and make us evil. She can unleash our inner devil and make us things we repent. She is born from failure, frustrations, pain and sometimes vanity. She can have a strong hold of us She reacts in different ways to each people Some shout their way out of her Some just withdraw She can be tough sometimes But she eventually melts away With minimal damage