Every relationship requires the right amount of space and
clutter. The balance between both determines the success of any relationship.
How much is too much? I have always wondered. I have seen perfect relationships
crumble for no reason and unhealthy creepy relationships survive. What is the
formula to make relationships work? Every individual is unique and bring
different characteristics to the table. However, as humans we share certain
similarities and maybe a standardised formula could make this work.
First, just like any equation,
Let us consider the variables involved. Let’s us take
Men – X
Women – Y
Relationship – R
X and Y are two different sub species with unique genetic
traits, cultural values, expectations, perceptions, etc. It would be
technically impossible for X and Y to balance each other without supporting
elements. The elements would include beauty (B), Character(C), love (L), money(M),
family(F) and loads of other reasons ranging from A to Z. All reasons expect
love have a measurable value to it. Most relationships have a unwritten bond
which is agreed by both parties. This can include emotional care for each
other, financial support, social behaviour, professional encouragement, etc.
Problems begin to arise when one or both parties fail to keep up their end of
the agreement. Nevertheless, there is certain time gap where the fault is
overlooked before the war begins. This gap or the patience phase is determined
by the tolerance and upbringing of the individual. Society also plays an
indirect role in this phase. Most people would frame it as something like this.
What would other people think of me? Given the above scenarios, A relationship
is perfectly executed emotional business partnership where rules are predefined
by the society.
Where is the role of the element L in the whole equation? Most
relationships are based on carefully measured elements and benefits. For people
who find it cynical and demeaning, here is a quick question. What do you like
your partner? What is the best thing you like about them? The answer will range
from A to Z. Then the real question comes here. Would you really like them even
if the particular element (which you like about them) is missing? If the answer
is Yes, What differentiates them from the other variables of the same sub
species?
Next comes the dependency and the independency factor. All
of us crave independence and dependence at the same time. It is like a cake
which we want to have it and eat it too. Sometimes I imagine it a rope with one
end tied to a pole and the other end let loose. The length of the role
determines the success of the individual and the relationship. The formula to
calculate the length of the rope includes elements like individual dream,
parental influence, social implication and egos.
Perfect Relationships do exist, but are all participants
happy in it? Some relationships have stood strong over the test of time,
through storms and droughts and succeed. How do we make all relationships
succeed? What defines success in a relationship? Maybe, a perfect relationship
oversees the imperfections of the participants. But a perfect relationship
should make them happy. If X or Y sacrifices their happiness and peace of mind,
is it worthwhile to make R work. These are a few factors and thoughts of a much
more complicated system. What is the
formula to create a perfectly healthy relationship with happy contended
participants?
Comments
Post a Comment