Me and my thoughts

When i spoke to my ex best friend after a little long time It felt strange to talk to someone who was once close to your heart as a stranger I was at loss of words Thousand question that was deep buried inside me rose to surface But still i was loss of words It might take some time to actually start a friendship But its felt good to actually let go of the past and move on Hoping for the impossible

Every breathe i take  burns me Every step i take is forced My brain does not register the things happening around me My eyes no longer registers the colours I walk where my leg leads me Still i have no where to go I keep working Still there is no meaning to it I cant feel my mind It is very numb The silence around me is deafening I feel like floating  with nothing to hold on It might pass If i have the strength to move on But i dont And i am dun

I am staying in my aunt's place because of Loooove. She is of the opinion that a girl should know cooking from the moment she grows beyond the kitchen table. I am much beyond that and i dont cook which is one of the greatest sins according to my aunt. So i decided i gona explore that avenue. So We decided to make egg masala Ingredients Egg - 1 Onion - 1 Chilli - 1 Mustard Curry Leaves Recipe Light the stove. This is the toughest part of cooking. Once you do that half the work is over Add oil and allow it to heat Add mustard to the hot oil and allow it to burst. This is really dangerous . So Caution is required Add Curry leaves . This might also jump Add onions and fry till golden brown. This will come only by practice. So 3 to 5 mins is the time for beginners like me Break the egg and pour it into the pan. Keep stiring for 2 mins and off the stove Egg Masala is ready

Cuisines in general means the food and food related techniques. A cuisine is based on the geographical, religional and ethical factors. They are different varieties of cuisines in the world some of which are really old and some where formed today. I like food, to eat about food, to know about food. I dont like to eat it because i love it so much. I wana do a study on the different cuisines,different dishes,different ingredients and anything related to food.I want to categorise, study, analyse and ramble about it. This is just a write up from my point of view. This might not be correct nor wrong either. Typically it is my space about food.

A lot of things that happens in life Does not happen the way we want It just Happens whether we want it or not Every thing in life will pass Only the passing stage is hard When one door is closed Too many Windows are opened Is a saying But i liked the old door better People hurt us badly Still we get into new relationships Hoping it will last And get up ending up even hurt We get lost at most time Still try to walk We stumble yet manage Despite everything life moves on It will move on with or without you

She was always crazy Now she has become cranky Even i cant decipher her She has become a ridicule to me She is angry And Irritated all the time She is not the same person anymore Her strength was patience Now she has lost it She is restless She is lost I miss the crazy part of me And I hate me

Its Friday Its a very special day of the week Like any other day The last working day of the week When we get up in the morning I feel happy and sad Happy that it is the last working day of the week And the weekend begins Sad  that it is the last working day of the week And there are loads of work to complete I am a workaholic by nature Ok Jokes apart I try to work hard and end up being lazy I push myself to office to realise  that all are in tat mode Why do i always end up who are just like me As we grumble through the end Its suddenly 12 and our stomach rumbles After a boring lunch of Sambhar Yes Friday are always Sambhar for Everyone I am even thinking of renaming it as Sambhar Day In no time, That is before i actually decide wat to do Its 3, I suddenly become responsible and serious And try to complete some work Land up getting more work My Associates wake up only after 3 And it is 6 I touch every bit of work And carry loads of plans to complete in the weekend And leave home with a

As i look around I realised the world is not the same anymore I feel the breeze on me but can enjoy it Everything is different The green trees look gray The whole world seems slowed down My heart no longer beats I cant breathe anymore The laugh around does not register And my brain can't figure the reason I just wish the blood stops flowing to my heart

I love travelling by train I hate a few parts of it though Every time i travel by train Life gives me two options Ten minutes of pain or A lifetime of pain I might be crazy But always select a lifetime of pain I have often imagined though What Will happen if select ten minutes of pain It Will create a little commotion People Will talk to each other about benefits of a strong heart My parents Will worry about loss of investment My frnds may get a little bored After a month or so Everyone Will move on I Will be just another person to live and gone Ppl Will remember me occasionaly And life goes on Still i can't figure out. Why i opt for a lifetime of pain

When i catch a cold i take a tablet When i am sick i go to the doctor When i was a kid my parents gave me vaccination Even when i get a small cut i take a tt Just bcos all this are physical We take effort to cure it The people around us take care of us Just bcos the heart can't be seen Just bcos the blood coming due to hurt not seen Just bcos the pain not physical Why do ppl ignore it A soothing word might not cure a bleeding heart But Will give the strength to move on

Sunday mornings are generally slow i get up late and laze around have a early lunch watch a boring movie and then a even boring ride and wonder how the hell did Sunday got over soon Today wanted to do something different So decided to start something Got up real early Went for a jog . Ok more of a walk And now i am back Wana check if this Sunday Is different from other Sundays

A old saying "Too much of anything is not good" Seems true for most things in life But i think its more appropriate for one thing The one thing which is becoming a increasing concern these days The uncontrollable growth of cells Medically it is called Malignant neoplasm The symptoms are seen in some But most unlucky ones it is not seen With advanced science The medical field have grown tremendously A lot of new techniques have been found But still This is one battle we are still fighting And we lose a lot of things to it Yes there are a lot of things beyond our control But Why there is no action taken to create awareness Why there is no medical help to people without money The word itself gives all the creeps It breaks hearts and families it creates panic And panic leads to unnecessary things Death is a part of this world But this... Lets join hands to fight cancer Uncontrollable growth of cells in the body can be  Controlled by joining Hands

as the thunder roars my heart jumps in joy i rush out to the sound of water dripping i starts slowly the first touch is heaven its both cold and warm as the water flows on me i feel blessed i shiver yet i am happy i am completely drenched yet i am not satisfied i yearn for more suddenly a rough loud kind voice shouts my name a strong pair of hands pull me back to reality i did not hear a single word he spoke just was gazing into the rain he dried my hair while grumbling and made my change into dry things and i am gazing into the rain wishing all this Will happen

For a number of reasons i don't remember i was dumb in school . I even had explanations and reasons for that. I was a attention seeker and did not know to do it properly. When i was in class two they gave me a barbie in raffle. Omg how happy and Gud i felt. i wanted my parents to ask Me why i flunk and i had lot of things to tell them. But they never asked me and i never told them till date.i grew up feeling lost and depressed. I am sure i had a lot of happy things of childhood but i don't remember any . The place i considered as refuge was my tuition. I really liked my tuition teacher a lot . The biggest problems on earth was homework and exams and marks. I was lazy and irritated to do just do it I wish i was a better student. But then i would lost my identity. I always believe life is more than marks, though marks are important too. We can still manage without them

i had a beautiful dream i was wandering through a deserted street i was not sure where i was going suddenly i heard a voice calling my name the voice was rough yet soothing i searched for the voice it whispered sweet words of encouragement it kept me going the voice made a impact on m and then suddenly i woke up and it disappeard i keep looking around to find it but it is not anywhere to found the reality of a dream is however good it is we have to get up

A friend of mine told me a philosophy When i was sad one day She told time is the best healer When we miss a person "Minutes turns to Hours Hours turns to Days Days turns to Weeks Week turns to Months" True, The number of times we think about that person gradually decreases But Why is the pain the same Why does the brain freeze every time we think of them Why does the heart starts longing with the same intensity I cannot understand the auto mechanism Of how we start thinking of them The minute our brain stops thinking of work and other things Of how the image pops up in the head in the middle of nowhere Sometimes it feels like Its better to be alone than hurt But when will the heart start listening to us....

I was in a mood to indulge myself . So I decided to go to Haji Alis Faloodas & Creams located on G.N.Chetty road in T.Nagar.  I skimmed the menu card, which is one of my favourite things to do. They had a wide range of juices, mik shakes, falooda with or without ice creams, sandwiches, pizzas and burgers to choose from. I am always of the opinion that we are supposed to eat the right food from the right place.  So I ordered a Chocolate falooda (sounds yummy right?) and a lemon mint juice. I am a proud chocolate addict and have a habit to choose anything that is chocolate based. Though they had faloodas of different variations (regular, mango flavoured etc.), I settled for a chocolate falooda. As I waited in expectation for my treat to arrive, I scanned the menu and the menu offered a wide option of fresh juices and milk shakes. For the snacks, they have the classic sandwiches and also the trendy pizzas and burgers. Atlast the falooda arrived and it looked delicious and awesome. A c

A small change in a saying Hardships makes you a better person in life But it always leaves scars behind I just realized that I look more like a zebra with marks than a person So the change is Hardships make you a better zebra

When I look around , the land is vacant I keep looking,but there is not a soul in sight I try calling out. But there is no air to carry the sound I try feeling for a hold,but the wall is slippery I yearn for a comforting word, Maybe somebody utters it ,but it is lost in the noise around The vacuum is too heavy to bear I am sinking under its weight With salty water for company I still look around for a ray of hope...

After a successful event(Please note that success happen every day but big real big success does not). So to celebrate that we went to Dawaat. My colleague suggested the place and we decided to give a try. We went for the usual combo. Biryani,Naan and my all time favorite Butter Chicken Masala. The biryani was out of the world . the quantity was less compartively but it was the best i have eaten in the recent days. The naan and butter chicken masala was also great. Though we were full we went for a another plate of biryani as it was heavenly. It was worth every penny and we went back home feeling really good.

When we allow our memories to roam When the cold breeze touches you When you forgot the world around you When you are really stressed but happy That the day is done When you wind up your work And think of Unwinding When the Day light starts to dim When the moon starts to show When the busy city gets busier Traffic is hectic When you sit calmly in a crowded bus And Read through your novel When the world around you is noisy But you feel a calmness Its Evening The cool Beautiful Evening

After  a stressful and irritating day at work , We decided to go out and we actually went. It is a habit of ours that we do a lot of planning but dont actually work it out due to one or all of us. So we(three of us) just a bus to Besant Nagar to get some breeze and eat some good,very good fish. We wadded thru the sand (with me mumbling , of course) and found a shop or maybe opted for it. The beach was unusually quiet and less crowded which is not common these days , taking into consideration the ever growing population. The beach was cool,quiet and bliss. We choose two plates of squid and one plate of prawns. Please dont envy us. We are all Hostelites and we are starved. The plate was big Real big. We were almost full by the time we gorged that. Then we went for prawns and seer. That was yummmmmm...... For the sake of courtesy we ordered a plate of Nethili , which was heavenly. With Tummies and hearts full , We trod back to real life. Stress is gud. It gives you a reason to relax

I am a very dreamy person. I have spent more than a half of my life in dreams and i am gonna continue to do so. I am a mystery to me and the people around me however close. I have my own world In which i am immersed. I am kind but sensitive . I am intuitive but dreamy, I am compassionate but aloof . i am me, typical me, a typical piscean. I am  not only spiritual in nature but also emotional in expression. I get attracted to the mystical side of things, and herein lies the potential danger, for when pulled beneath the currents of routine life, the realms of imagination and the subconscious offer little structure.   .

Today i had this lunch which i am not very fond of . So just decided to get some chips and eat it gratefully. My colleagues decided to order in Dhaba Express and i decided to order lassi. The yummy delicious lassi which i really enjoyed when i went there for sunday lunch. So all set and delivered, the lassi and thick and rich and wonderful   Just Imagine sweet lassi after a boring lunch it made my day. 

I have been helping my friend for quite some time and he decided to treat me. So we choose Wonton. I am a person who likes to try new food at every available opportunity. So we went and found a place in the restuarant which is usually crowded but for vacant yesterday. My Friend wanted to order the minute we have seated and opened the menu as we had already decided what to order.I always try to place the order in a way that allows me to taste the most dishes by sharing which reduces food wastage. Both are not heavy eaters so we are ok with this. I persuaded my friend to wait and look thru the menu for the sake of ethics. Then we ordered a dumpling which was crispy. The sauce to go with that was good. But  felt the chicken was a bit raw still i enjoyed it. Then for the main course We ordered prawn fried rice and Kung Pao chicken which the waiter told me would be spicy and sweet which it was. I enjoyed the meal though i felt irritated with the company. Its ok when you have a good meal. I

I am in a very crucial point of my life . Quarter century into this earth and at the verge of getting somewhere. I can feel people from directions looking out of care curiosity and simply they are bored. I know i have to achieve someting do something worthwhile, leave all my past flaws and get into the second quarter of my life. To be honest i am clueless about where to start, Where to go and what to do.I have a lot to do and a lot to undo but still i dont know where to start.Lets see what happens though i dont have much time left

When i was young i did not what it was When i was in my teens i lived in a fantasy of crushs Then it grew to infatuation Now its changed into hope Hope that one day i will met my Mr.Right Hope that one day will come soon Some times i am tired of being alone Some times i enjoy my loniliness I feel bonded with him I am not sure if it real or a figment of my imagination My world does not revolve around him But Still he occupies a major part Will he feel the same thing is a question unanswered I miss him When i need a shoulder I miss him When i am happy I miss him When i see my friends FB Update I miss him Almost always when my mind has nothing else to think I am not even sure if it is worth it But still I Miss him I search him everywhere and at every point of my life To get answers for the thousand questions in my mind To make my life complete or empty To solve the biggest mystery of my life I need him But, I really dont know Where the hell is he

Today i found in life that nothing is real and not all are good nor bad. People react and survive to instints, The ultimate is to just live a life though i have no idea what is my purpose on earth The good can go bad The bad may be actually good But life goes on and on Till it gets a signal to stop We dont know why we work. Some times its irritating sometimes indifferent. I really dont know why i worked so much and it lasts to nothing, Not that i expected anything but when i dont get the basic recognition its bad,real bad. the work i do is spoiled  for something not my fault. Still its ok Cos life goes on and on

The worst feeling in the world Is missing someone you love They maybe near or far They maybe constantly in touch with you Or May not be They might talk to whenever you cal them They might be chances to renew the old bond Still when there is something preventing the whole thing Some cloud which does not disappear The old memories which haunt you The new insecurities which threaten to invade you You just feel lost and lonely without them Still Acceptance is a another term belonging to another world Despite everything you still miss them

In Life When we reach a fork road And really confused on which way to go And both the ways hold equal importance We feel totally lost and stressed When we ask for suggestion People,even those very close to you Might say Its completely our call Whatever reason they say that for And in the end i realised Whatever decision i make The only person who will stick to me Whatever happens in life Is me Truth Hurts But Factu Factu

to the person who taught me to write to the person who made me read to the person who taught me to count to the person who taught me the basics of science , maths, history , geography even when i felt those where the greatest prbm on earth to the person who i sometimes hated for asking about homework to the person who made me realise the values of life the person is called teacher they are most selfless people in our life who struggles for making us a better person at school and college we love them and hate them but i realised the importance of them when i ventured the real world i wish all my teachers a very happy teachers day i am indebted to you forever

I am not perfect but not imperfect either I might not be the best person around But work on getting better I am in my own world at times I think a lot I am sensitive for minor things And indifferent for major issues I have big hopes though i have achieved very less My friends call me crazy I prefer to call myself Jenifer I am me and i love myself for that I don't expect people to like me And even when i do i can handle disappointments I am not sure about a lot of things But try my best to stick to a decision I expect people to accept me the way i am. I am just different Who feels indifferent to the world around me

First day of a new month New hopes new plans new new And some of us would not have even noticed it Ya of course it is the time of the month. Where we all are rich Set up a lot of financial goals And manage not to follow it Prepare a lot of things to do And add it to the last months list But this month i have decided To set up realistic goals And actually try to reach them Whatever happens i wish to grow as a better person I wish two of my close frnds A very happy birthday U both mean a lot to me I wish all my frnds all the best wishes and add good luck in the world Wish you all a very happy and successful September

In office over lunch With no better topic to jabber We started talking on childhood memories I then realised how much i miss my childhood Actually all of us do We had something better than angry birds and android apps The sweet things of our childhood are only sweet memories now They are no longer exist but was the best thing ever The kerchief pinned to the uniform The fights over swings and playt hings The suprise hidden in the snack box The pepsi ice sticks The joint cooking games Each game however silly taught us a valuable lesson for life Now each memories brings a smile to your lips There are much more things Which are not on the top of my mind But hidden safely deep inside us

It started in 2001 The begining of a new relationship A crucial part of our lives When it began i had no idea that it was or will Become this important to my life It began in the usual fight and like story And the introduction with other friends I remember some of the initial inhibitions The sticking together at odds And then it was formed A bond so strong but long Initially it was just the bond and more Then came in the real life The Endless fights and make ups We had been with each other Through most of the adolsence Through the butterflies and tears We had fought battles and still fighting But still we stick together We have been for each other when we needed them both And not been also But that made us a stronger and better person When i think of us I remember a lot of things Which i cant write As Fb might sue me For using a lot of Space and of course I am Lazy, So some things The first card we exchanged The diffucult lunch hours when we were not friends

A small change in a saying Hardships makes you a better person in life But it always leaves scars behind I just realized that I look more like a zebra with marks than a person So the change is Hardships make you a better zebra

When i get up i wish he is by my side When i take my mobile i wish he has sent me a message When i get ready i wish he is there to motivate me When i decide the dress to wear i wish he is there to select it When i walk on the road i wish he is by my side When i see someone in the bike or car. I wish it was us When i travel by bus . I wish he is next to me When i am in office . I wish he calls me occasionally When i feel down. I wish he senses my mood When i come home in the evening . I wish he walks with me holding my hands jabbering sweet nothings When i sulk to eat . I wish he feeds me When i sleep in the night. I wish my pillow to be his lap When i watch a movie . I wish his hand holds me tight I wish all he says are true Finally i wish i didn 't wish all this As it won't come true and will remain a wish always

This world has thought me a lot of things by experience and exposure . I never trust the opposite as they don't have a heart. They have the capability to make you feel that you are the center of their world for one minute and completely ignore you the next minute. We actually lose a lot of energy and time figuring out this . And by that our hearts are completely out of control and it breaks. In general when someone uses sweet words i don't mind it. I am trained to be resistant to all this sugar coated drama. I am generally sensible enough and have grown up. But but all my years of training disappears when i am with him. They is a conflict of interest between my heart and brain. My brain reads his words as 'false total junk please do ignore'. But my heart yearns and wishes for those to be true. Maybe he sent the wrong message to me. I do it all the time . Or as a serial playboy these words are a part of his vocabulary . But this poison coated sweet words are actually kil

As i wait for the most awaited bus. Its atlast arrived in slow motion . It managed to find a seat battling through the big crowd . I even got my favorite window seat. The bus started from mylapore. I switched on the radio and took my book out. Yes this one hour journey can be tiresome at times without proper precautions. As the bus started lots of people got in and out. I started looking at the already familiar surrounding . I keep looking at it. As if i am.not looking at it for the past one year. Everything times something is new about this place .maybe the new mobile panels in the mobile shop. Maybe the hot chips in the snacks shop. Maybe the expression of people standing on the roads. When i see the expression in the people face, i get the impression that the world is big really big. We all are technologically close and emotionally far. The world is smaller yet far. as the bus reaches adyar i am completely into my thoughts about the things i have , want and will have and suddenl

Life has a saying that the more you try to get out of something, the more it pulls you into it. I have always believed in it but now i am experiencing it I have been trying my best to avoid this person. But he keeps calling me and speaks to me for one minute . He does this every five hours and disappear .i don't think he does that on purpose . Its just the fate testing me. I really hope its make me a better person.but the phase to reach to that is really painful . I have had lots of crushes in my life but this is different. It makes me feel exhausted . I think i will give up my entire life to live with him for a day. Any one knows any options to that.I am generally brave to solve whatever comes in this. But now i feel very week and tired. I wish he will go back to work soon . I will miss him badly but its much better than this constant reminder

I keep thinking of it over and over again till my eyes become dizzy . My brain keeps repeating the reasons in the hope that my heart Will listen. The two majors reasons are  i am not sure if i really need this even if i am crazy about him and the second major reason is he does not like me.The purpose of writing this is i need a outlet or i l really go mad.Everything msg he sends and everything word he talks triggers something within me. I know it is not love not even crush . I cannot name or identify this feeling . I have no idea of the past and no hope for the future. But still my heart pains and questions me. I don't have the courage to stop msging him nor stop it from affecting me. I know i am crazy but this is me and i cannot help.it I have a lot of reasons why this can't happen . The problem is cant stop from heart from thinking about him. I know we dont have any future or even traces of it.But still. I always like land up liking the guy who does not like me. This is makin

As i look at you And try to figure out The message you try to convey You change the shape All shapes are interesting and unique Its conveys a message and its soothing I am mesmerized by your beauty And i can't stop looking at you You are exotic sky

In a tall big tower Where the walls are very high And its slippery too I searched for a grip I did not expect much Just something to hold one Something to motivate me To navigate and to find a way out For a small ray of light And a some air to breathe But the walls kept growing And so is the loneliness

I have a greatest enemy on this world.Someone who has been the cause of my trouble always Someone who has saved me at times too. I usually love it. But now i hate it .I really do.I have a holiday for Raksha Bandhan. Ok It is hilarious. I got up early that day and did not have much work to do.So i tracked my brothers long and far on Facebook and wished. More than Half of them did not bother replying which is another whole  new story.I was asking my friends and crushes what gift they would give me if tied rakhi for them. I was not really serious. So as fate would have it, My Crush asked me if i really mean it. I told him tat i asked my all friends. But he always knew when i create a scene and he also knew to handle it. Ok Dont tel him tat. So he asked me if i really feel like tying a rakhi to hiim. Now i had to tell a answer and told him "yes" . That why i hate my enemy. So he is getting me a gift and asked me for a rakhi. OMG I really dont know what to do now. My friends feel

I had my crush on this guy who was in my class in first standard. I moved schools and he went a class ahead of me. I have a impression that my crush was i my tuition for eight years and with whom i started talking recently . Now the thing is this guy is two years ahead of me. Now the golden question is this guy my crush and if not who was the guy who was wiped off from my memory . Not that i have a issue. Should i continue with him or not.

My first bundle of joy and hurt came packed in a cute little girl called sister. She is the person who i love and hurt the most.She is also the person who has hurted me a lot. She was born on 1992 and i felt so happy when i saw my aunt holding a tiny little baby.I hurt my foot on the way to see her. Call it timing or warning,She is one of a kind. The trouble came in the form of jealousy.Every new baby is the star of the family. That does not mean they hate the elder one. I only wish i had understood this much earlier.   I wish my parents were more sensitive to my feeling back then and less now. All for good. I grew in my own world of hurt and insecurities. I felt noone loved me. I became emotionally weak then and indifferent now.It did take some time to gain self confidence.I dont hold a grudge for anyone though i wish i did.I became different. Still i love and hate my sister a lot .But the hate now is not due to childhood traumas. It is much more

I was born on Feb 24,1987 in the evening. This is of my life from Feb 24,1987 to 92.I honestly dont remember most of it. Only a very few. I went to Johnson School for three years, it seems. I remember two instances of the whole three years. I was pampered according to sources.Maybe life was too good to be true. i have a feeling that those five years was the happiest days of my life . I walked late , was a very cute kid. I still wish i was that cute even now.I was very slow. Even now i am. 

I was reading a novel and the hero of the story suffers from selective amnesia and loses memory of only the heroine. Sounds a bell? . Yes this is a very typical similar state of my life. The only difference is I am not a Heroine and he is not my hero. But i really seem to like this person since i dont knw, maybe i dont remember. I remember he was in my class in kindergarten and he was in my tuition centre for about 6 - 7 years. It all started out of curiosity  and my ability to attract trouble of course. I was just thinking about my life and also about him. I just searched about him in Facebook and managed to find him too. After much thought I sent him a request. I was under the impression that he might have forgotten or might not even remember me. Of Course there is a difference between both.But the fate intervened and he accepted it.      We started chatting and he seemed to remember me.I felt happy that i was talking to him atlast after so many years. I knew he worked in a ship and

Last 24 hours at 25 In the last night of my quarter century I was busy bugging people with my boring messages as usual My best friend or better yet,a person i value Reminded me that it was my last night at 25 ya true,my memory lane went down the last 364 days This is a note of my 364 days plus my last day If you guys are busy, Which i know you are not Anyways this is it It started with excitemen t and loads of questions Questions about a lot of things but useful and not Trust me, I have not found the answers for even half of them And dont remember the other half Anyways, Questions and me are best friends from the time My heart was trained enuf to create my own problems I moved to a new job, A new industry And i am managing to survive there till date Though i am not sure Till When I have made a few good friends Even managed to be a good friend for a few Dusted and renewed a few good old relationship Changed the relationship status with some Even broke up with a