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The Fight Within - Best friend and Biggest enemy

Who is your best friend ? Some of us would answer it in a jiffy. Some might take a little longer to decide. Sometimes it is more than one. I have always wondered who my best friend is?. I am constantly wondering about a lot of things

Who is my best friend?
Who is my biggest enemy?
What is my favorite color?
What is my favorite fruit?

The list is endless. Every time people ask me a simple question? I feel lost and disturbed. Even the toughest questions does not scare me. But simplest ones can do the trick. I always have the feeling that something is technically wrong with me.  I always try to be a normal girl.  I just get cranky and crazy at times. And I think it is a part of a normal life. I am just curious. Sometimes too curious for my own good. I have too many questions and it seems natural to me. The question which are most disturbing . Who is my best friend? and Who is my biggest enemy? .

Friends have always been a vital part of my life. They are like oxygen to me. They actually help me breathe in the times of suffocation. I have all kinds of friends, The hi - bye types, The chatty types, The flirty types and the BFF (best friends forever) types. Every one has helped me at some point or other. It is really tough to choose from them. It would not be fair on my part too.

The same equation applies to my enemies. They are equally important as my friends. They are like carbon dioxide. They actually make you clean. They help you grow up in life. They hurt you. They make you strong . They make your life worthwhile.

One fine morning, I got an enlightenment. Yes wonderful ideas just come into your mind. They are generally not a product of extensive thinking. It just pops into you. I have always wondered if God actually takes pity on us and rewards your hard work by putting it in your mind. So I got this thought and it seems true to me.

The only person who can really hurt me and heal me is me. I realised that the people and situations around me only contribute to the feeling inside me. They can create a environment to initiate a feeling. They can even aggravate the feeling. But the person who is in control of the things is me. It is  completely on me to allow it and feel it. Sometimes we are too deep in an emotion to actually understand it. Sometimes we are just in the illusion of the emotions when we actually don't feel it. Sometimes we try to fight it so much that we only get drowned in it

People hurt us. But it happens only if we allow it. The same logic applies to love also. There are things which are beyond our control. Maybe acceptance is the key. Being happy always may be difficult. But that does not mean we  have to be sad. It is ok even if we don't feel anything. I  always have the feeling that if i am not happy or sad, then something is wrong with me. I have broken the myth now. I have realised it is ok to have too many questions. I might not have the answers for everything. But it makes to search for answers and makes my life interesting. I realized it is ok to be almost normal till i am ok with it. 

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