Me and my thoughts

Who knew darkness could be so serene? A dark cloudless sky devoid of stars Held so much power over me There was absolutely nothing Expect a looming emptiness We are always searching for a glimpse of light That we fail to relish the dark I wished I could steal some of the serenity And hide it deep inside me It would be a comfortable place A place with no fear or stress A fort where worry would not dare enter It is a hidden world Away from the scorching fire and engulfing heat The cold embraced me Even without the chilling winds A lone streetlight stood in the middle Struggling hard to compensate the sea of darkness Somehow it was a losing war The vast expanse of the sky Had a powerful pull to it It was mesmerising and soothing It wished I could lose myself in it And forgot my worries in the comforting darkness

 Every relationship, both professional and personal has an underlying factor which is not openly discussed. It is expected to be understood and considered to be part of the relationship description. Personal relationships suffer more from this communication gap compared to its counterpart. Most professional portfolio comes with its job description which almost details these requirements. However, the personal life is much more complicated than it. The relationship formula changes with each, and there are various factors involved in it. The primary reason for failure in a relationship is the inability to meet these expectations. A personal relationship is said to be selfless and beyond all anticipations. All of us directly or indirectly expect something out of these related groups. It does not matter the nature or type or gender or time. It could be simple as money or complicated as love. Sometimes we convey all the wrong expectation for the right reasons. However, the elephant alw...

And they lived happily ever after was one of the few quotes which instilled hopes and dreams in us. Most books we read or movies we see conclude their story in the same line. I was one of those people who firmly believed in its magic only to be hit by the power of reality. I have always questioned if there was a happily ever after was a phenomenon or a marketing concept. In real life, things work out a little differently. There is no notable end, and it is just a milestone. Every milestone marks the beginning of the next phase laden with its variety of traumas and troubles. Even death does not mark the end as afterlife seems to an exciting mystery. How do we also find this happily ever after? Is it relatively possible to attain that state in one lifetime? Or is it one of those unattainable dreams which keep us fighting? How do we find happiness? How do we balance life in the uncertainty of pain and disappointment? 

It is just another rainy day An ordinary day for most people But it was a special day for her It was one of the most traumatising and happiest days of her life She cried aloud and grabbed the edge of the bed The baby tried to push her way out to the world Somewhere across the country On the harsh cold border A soldier held his stand braving the weather His body threatened to give up But his spirit was stronger than ever His held his position waiting for his cue His senses were on high alert And he watched every moment with scrutiny He aimed his rifle waiting for the perfect opportunity to take that shot His security and life was least of his concerns His nation and her safety was all that mattered The baby decided to make its way out She arrived just in time The gunshots were fired She shrieked at the top of her lungs Oblivious to the fact that a guardian angel protected her They protected her along with millions of people in the country She has his eyes and nos...

Solitude is a strange emotion We love and fear it at all times Everyone wants some in their lives Yet fear it with their souls We were born alone And will probably leave in the same way But we yearn for company in  the middle We wish to be a part of a group We even time our attitude to fit in Even the loneliest soul needs compassion Though we might not accept it openly However this companionship is an illusion It is always there but never there We wade through a series of people And give it a name of our choice We justify it and give ourselves a reason Nevertheless we are pushed to battle our solitude At so many points in our life We yearn and hate it at the same time The challenge lies in finding the balance The harmony in solitude

They broke me Every day was a fight A fight with the world A fight within myself I tried my best to keep up To stay ignorant To tell myself that is it was for the greater good A good that was no where in sight Every action sliced through my heart Every silence ripped me apart I cried a thousand tears To the words To the indifference And the insecurity I told myself tomorrow would be better That there was hope at the end The pain made me feel alive Told me that I had a reason to fight Told me that I cared Today was different Nothing made an impact It did not cause pain I did not feel angry Just let the words brush by me I viewed it like an observer Justified the accusations And moved on It no longer hurts I stopped caring There is no reason to fight It  seems they have won They broke me to the point of no return There is nothing left to hold me To give me hope Everyday would be the same And I don't think I would care

Should I talk Or Should I ignore The words no longer hurt like they used to It means I am losing it And attaining the Carefree mode I find it hilarious Maybe because it no longer causes the pain And also because it masks my anger I know I have a good memory But I never felt protected Nor pampered Their definition of life was different And it was  not the best I don’t complain about it I have learned to accept what I have Why do they grumble Why do their complain Is it because to test my temper Or is it because to train my patience Sometimes, I bit my tongue to hold back the words These words could hurt them In a more primal way Maybe I did not inherit that from them The ability to hurt without a second thought Something stops me from retaliating Maybe because I have given up And it scares me