It is not you, it’s me

You and I have a simple and a complicated relationship. You are pretty much the only standard element in my life. You have been with me through my ups and downs. You have been there for me even I have ignored you.  You answered me almost every time  I asked you something. You have also told me to stop worrying and give in to faith. However, I am troubled continuously in self-doubt and fear. Despite constant reassurances, I am unable to find peace. As much as keep fighting the darkness within me, it keeps pulling me deeper into it. Most days, I want to give up, you keep pulling me back from the ledge. At times, I wonder if I deserve so much love and care.  Still, you never let me go and keep telling to stay calm. Most times, I manage to keep floating and accept your plan. But then, I equally fail and give in to the pain.  And that’s when I know, that it’s not you, it’s me. I trust you with all I got. Still, the fight is getting bigger every day.