Relationships are one of the most complicated mechanisms in the world.I am not smart to comprehend it. But I have been deeply hurt by them. Sometimes it leaves a scar and a multitude of questions. My life flows through friends and strangers. The irony is some friends are strangers to emotions and strangers are more sensitive. We try hard to make a relationship work. We spend our time, energy and most importantly emotions. Every time I invest so much of myself, I expect nothing much in return. I expect care and a sense of security. But it does not happen always. Every relationship comes with its own baggage and leaves behind some. Not all relationships have closure. They open unexplained mysterious realm and lets us battle with our inner monsters. I sometimes wish I could be more immune to the whims and fantasies of my heart. I wish I could control my butterfly and let it stay calm in its cocoon. Still, I lose myself to a warm smile and a caring thought. Everything comes with an expiration date. Every relationship is as dangerous as an expired drug. They cause unknown side effects and tamper with the quality of life. Every day, I search for a nearly perfect relationship and only find unhealthy business agreement. Every relationship have a huge level of expectations that is unequally divided between the two. Both parties lay down a list of unwritten norms and regulations with conditions apply clause. The agreement begins to go downhill when the expectation change. Why should it be so complicated to me? Why cannot it be just for love? Why can't people accept each other for what they are? Why do I have to change myself to make me lovable? Most times the heart wins the war and we change. However it does not work for lack of originality. This is a catch 22 situation which is impossible to decipher. I have seen and been through many. After trial and error, we find a person who we can relate ourselves with. Before sighing a relief, The fate or fat intervenes and trauma begins. Of all the reasons stated, The only reason which makes me bawl is Another realm, Another Life. If this curse were to come true, Then I would have 13 lives. And relationships are complicated after all
Every person we meet creates an impact on us. The way the impact works is quite surprising. Sometimes the impact created by a stranger is more than the impact by a close friend. I always consider life as a block of coal or a big piece of rock. The journey from Coal to diamond or Rock to sculpture takes a lot of time and can also be painful. It does not happen with a single person or with a single incidence. The conversation process is continuous and can happen till our last breath. We get better and better with age and experience. I have never managed to understand when a person reaches his best. Maybe the level is unattainable. Still changes, both ups and downs happen throughout our lives. I remember an innocent hyper girl who wore sensitivity on her sleeve. The smallest spark was enough to set her on fire. She was on the extreme of emotions. The emotions can range from Happiness, sorrow, loneliness and anger. Still the emotions controlled her and stole her sleep many nights.
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