Me and my thoughts

Many returns of the day I have always wondered the meaning of the word Is it a blessing Or a curse Does this mean we would have to have many more days to come Will that day be sad or happy Sometimes a day with someone we love seems much better than a lifetime alone When someone told me this I felt happy But i did not know That it meant living alone Every day is a curse Every minute is a punishment We wait for a miracle to happen And hope for change But miracle dont happen Days pass by Maybe it is the return of the curse Or just a stroke of luck

What is the basics of a relationship Is it love Is it trust Is it hope But most times it just the 2 G's When our first relationship fails We feel depressed and lost We feel insecure and broken A friend comforts us They maybe god sent or designed to hurt us more We feel the comfort soothing We get into a relationship And it helps us move on Only into a darker world At one point we realise that they is nothing in the relationship But gratitude for saving us holds it together Reality creeps in And the threshold breaks And the guilt takes over And we try to work it out At last We lose a friend And manage to break the heart again All because of Gratitude and Guilt

I saw a kid running around And it reminded of someone Who I can't forget Yet can't bear to think about You stole my happiness when u left Still I did not make me angry You stole my life when u left Still I could not hate you I remember you everyday And wonder about the mistake on my part I tried to be a friend to you And failed miserably on both roles I still could not accept the reality Of the truth I wait for a miracle to happen And things to become better Every tiny kid and plump girl Reminds me of you I would give up anything To reverse things Yet I don't have anything to lose Other than my life Dear God, take it if you want But give her back

I did not ask much from you Not even a shoulder to lean Not even a hand to hold I did not ask anything from you Not even my heart Which you trampled Not even my tears Which you stole away Not even my senses Which followed you I did not ask anything Just give my breath back So I can start livinh

Fear not, I am with you These are your words for me Whenever I am depressed or lost Just that I don't feel it sometimes I lose hope in life And look for a hold I feel desperately lost And search for a light When you say these words I feel bright and strong Only to lose it again I know u wont forsake me I know the devil rules I know you permit him to trouble me Yet I feel low and down Sometimes I need a shoulder And pillow does not hold me tight Your word strengthens me I just wish it keeps me strong always I feel guilty When I lose hope Yet not able to hold it

Sometimes its strange When people who cared about u People who understood u People who held ur hand during tough times Actually did it Because of a reason The reason is not care The Reason is not friendship The reason might be some favour They fixed as a price In their mind The reason is not even strong Sometimes its seems too real Maybe they act too well Or I trust too easily Sometimes its seems stupid Of the time and energy invested Of course on both sides Time together which is too good to believe Energy spent for the effort Leave apart the emotional imbalance the times have changed Its no longer a trend To act and hope for a favour Maybe my heart does not know And it pains For the act get drama