Me and my thoughts

Who is she She may not be your mother She may not be your sister She may not be your anything But does that mean you can hurt her Just because you are stronger than her Just because she is weak to resist you Does that mean you can hurt her Just because she is a woman Does not give you the right to hurt her She maybe delicate She may look weak Does not give you the right to hurt her Just because she is beautiful Does not mean she is insensitive Does not mean she does not get hurt She may not be your responsibility But that does not mean you can be A silent spectator to her suffering If every man on earth remembers that he is a man And that does mean to protect women From so called jerks and People not fit to be called humans or men Then we can stop violence against women Whoever she is Lets protect it

I know you are not the smartest person on earth I know you are not the sweetest person on earth I know that I dont even know you I know there was nothing great between us I know we were not meant to be I know we did not spend time together I know that there is something good behind this I know that God has a plan I know that it might be better for me My brain knows all this Just that my heart wont listen And I cant get over you

 I started the journey with a lot of dreams And plans of my own But nature had it own plans Every step I took had a thorn in its path Every smile turned to tear Every moment was filled with sadness Nature gave a lot of things Yet took away the many factors of my life Sometimes Its very suffocating And sometimes its dark The journey took many paths Now I have reached a point Where the path leads nowhere And I have nowhere to go I have a bag of memories And The journey is still And I am out of dreams

She is really alluring Many times she tries to trap me Into a web of peacefulness I spend some time Imaging her warmth She gives me a sense of security She gives a hold Yes I dont know her I have just heard about her Still she does not scare I pray for her to come There are some strings which hold me Which stop me from reaching out to her But the strings are getting weaker i might need a permission or two But she seems to be a refuge And I cant wait to let her embrace me She is The Eternal Sleep

What does it take to be a XX Chromosome Factor Is it by genetic reason Is it by birth Is it due to physical reactions Or is there any thing beyond that I really believe that there is something beyond that By nature , The argument is Whether XY and XX are equal Maybe they are not Maybe they are But XX are always said to be greater But Physical strength yes But a few factors yes But are they always greater May be May not be But what does it take to be XX Is it not the responsibility Is it not the ability to withstand pressure Is it not the ability to respect women Is it not the ability to  create small magic Is it not the ability to bring a smile Or is it just by genetic reasons What does it take to be a XX Chromosome Factor

What do you do When you have a problem in life Cry for it Pray for it Share it with your friends They maybe be sympathetic And console you Sometimes they maybe indifferent When you have a success in life What do you do Laugh, Pray and Share A friend however close will listen To your happiness over a hundred times Even if it boring and repetetive But sorrow after a point of time Brings boredom to the listener People care for you But still sorrow becomes boring beyond a point And it also has to let out And when it reaches beyond a point Tears are the only way to let it out It is not fully dependent on anyone And it can be your true friend

I see a lot of activity around me Just that I dont feel a part of it I try to be a part of it I laugh with them It sounds hollow to my own years I try to talk Just that it is very meaningless I try to be happy I try different means Even chocolate does not interest me anymore Maybe I am too exhausted to even cry And I feel just lonely and sad

Hey Rain I really like you I have admired you I have seen you ruthless You have caused floods Brought traffic to a still Caused trees to fall Given holiday to schools You really do a lot of things Can you do something for me Can you please wash away my memories The memories which kill me And make my life miserable Hey Rain Can you do it

I know that i should not think about you Just that My heart would not listen I know that I should move on Just that My heart would not listen I know that I have to stop writing about you Just that My heart would not listen I know that you are not good for me Both emotionally and physically Just that My heart would not listen I know that I might have a better future Just that My heart would not listen I know that God has plans for me Just that My heart would not listen I know that there is no future for me Not even a hour together Just that My heart would not listen I just wish that my heart would just listen And stop thinking about you

Some words are sharper than swords They pierce you Rip your heart And leave behind ugly scars The person who utters it Sometimes might not even mean it But it breaks The trust And leaves behind anger and distrust Some words are sweet as honey They soothe your heart Heal your wounds But Sometimes the person who utters it Might not even mean it And when you realize the truth It hurts you like hell Words are powerful than anything else Be careful when uttering them Every word uttered can cause a impact It is a venom coated weapon

You taught me to survive alone From dawn to dusk You made me live life You taught me patience You taught me endurance You made me a better human You were my source of Independence Right from the bathroom rushes in the morning To the numerous breakfast skips To the huge breakfast options The hostel food I hated The sometimes food we craved for The street food we survived on Simple, tasty and really not that healthy We still managed The amount I spent in you In really less I used mostly for sleeping You gave me sisters You gave me aunts You expanded my relationship circle You made me sweat You made me cry Yet every moment was unique Every moment was precious I dont get the feeling you are not my home Till i pay for the stay I did not even know that I miss you Till I vacated you

I can't understand my feeling I am not happy nor sad I am not able to smile nor cry I don't feel better nor worse i don't even feel lik crying Because tears is out of stock Just a little drained A little exhausted A little cheated A little lonely A little curious A little insecure A little deprived A little numb A little leftout Maybe my self confidence Hav left me Maybe Som oxygen of my life Because I have difficulty breathing Maybe anything which I am not sure I am just not me Maybe I don't know the real me And I am confused

60 years of life together Many fights together Many silent moments together Day in and day out I did not ask for your company I did not ask for your shoulder Whenever I felt down I did not ask for your hand Whenever I needed to walk I did not ask anything much Because I know it was not possible I just asked for 24 hours To just know you better Just a walk to hold your hands Just a moment to depend on your shoulders Just a small reason to fight with you And no reason to make up I would Hav given my life For that 24 hours It just did not happen And I have a lifetime To miss you

Maybe It was not meant to be Maybe it should not Have started Maybe it should have grown Maybe if I was lucky Things would Have been different Maybe I should Have loved you less Then the pain would Have left Maybe u never liked me And I did not notice it Maybe whatever I should let it out through tears Then I might feel better And forget you faster But I just feel numb And insecure And deserted And alone Maybe my heart will listen to my brain And this feeling will go away

Whenever I see a alphabet related to your name I remember you Is it my mistake that your name has 9 alphabets Whenever I see a related number I remember you Is it my mistake that most numbers resemble yours Whenever I get a message alert I remember you Is it my mistake that i get 700 messages per day Whenever I try to sleep I remember you Whenever I travel , whether far or near I remember you Whenever I see the rain Whenever It is hot Is it my mistake that it does not snow here I remember you Whenever I am alone And whenever my thoughts run out Is it my mistake that i am alone most of the time I dont remember you always But you invade my memories most of the time I am generally forgetfull But you are an expection And I remember you

Who am I Am I my mother's daughter Am I a sister Am I a friend Am I a cousin Am I a niece Am I a neighbor Am I a employee Am I a colleague Am I anything Yes I am a part of all But I am me Is it tat big a mistake To be me Or think about being me Is it wrong To have my own likes and dislikes Is it a sin To be me and have an identity